"Have you found anything you like?"
"Are you doing the things you enjoy?"
People love asking questions like these. But my 15-year-old-brain was empty when I heard those questions. I didn't have anything I truly loved.
What I had to do were, to get into a career-orientated programme, graduate from the university, find a well paid job, aim to retirement and get a grand grave. These isn't much surprises, but it doesn't like what I want.
I got into the Radiography programme in 2018. I studied, did a part-time job. I quitted my job. I found a new part-time job. Things changed in the second semester of my Year-1.
The Neuroscience Department of Poly University was recruiting young researchers. Being a researcher sounds awesome. I applied for it and consequently failed. Although the department of my programme was not recruiting anyone, I found Dr. Lin (my supervisor in research now). I persuaded him to get me into his lab by saying "I am super-good at washing beakers" (very soon later I found many beakers in the lab).
I worked as a researcher in the Cancer Biology Laboratory since my first-year. I have my own project, which is to decipher the signaling mechanism mediated by an endothelin cytokine in Head and Neck cancer. My routine work includes culturing cells, performing DNA & RNA experiments, presenting in lab meetings, joining research seminars and sometimes playing with mice. My work depends on what my scientific objectives are (i.e. what I am looking for). The toughest of all was doing that - we are investigating things that are unknown. We don't know if we are in the right direction. We cannot predict how the nature responds to us. I kept failing, failing and failing. There is no marking scheme to all the things, but that is what I find challenging and exciting. It is a gamble.
Back to the questions in the beginning. Frankly speaking, they are too abstract. I would change into another way – is there anything that we are willing to put our time and effort on? My 21-year-old brain will respond, "Yes, I like staying in the lab." It is too hard to think of anything we truly love, but if I recall the days in the lab, it is like "It has been many hours later after my last time of glimpsing at the clock today". I want to know why fireflies, jellyfishes and some fungi carry light (i.e. bioluminescence). I am happy to see bioluminescence under microscope. I love playing with cells, switching the light on and off. It is really fun to get another secret of the nature exposed.
I spent half of my university time on studying and another half on doing research, but indeed doing research does no big help to my career in Radiography. All my holidays spent on lab work seem a huge waste. Instead, I find my university life fruitful with satisfaction. I got my brain upgraded. If there are things we are fond of, please just do it! No matter what, it is worthwhile.
It really does not matter if our interests do not comply with the society's expectation (provided that it is not a crime). Many people tell me that pursing a research degree is extremely hard, and I may have to beg if I do a PhD. I cannot earn as much as being a Radiographer. There is no warranty, but having too many worries could bring people down. Personal fulfillment is more important than success, isn't it? Even so, my experience tells me that we naturally stay concentrated on and persistent in doing things we enjoy. I failed experiments without giving any meaningful findings for half of a year. I did troubleshooting and had bad results all the time, but I never thought of giving up. Every failure gets me a little step closer to good results. Are we really going to fail?
If there isn't anything we truly love, it does not matter. I don't think we could really get one if we force ourselves to look for. It is like a love relationship, a true man will come when it is time. Personally I believe that there must be something people truly love doing that. We just don't realize. It may not be a big accomplishment. It could be "eating pizza" or "walking" . As long as we enjoy it, all interests are worthwhile.
Go for things you enjoy.